ŴĦ¥ ƗŞ ŞĦ€ ŞØ ĐΔŇǤ€ŘØỮŞ?

dan·ger

ˈdānjər

noun

1. the possibility of suffering harm or injury.

   
   

   "his life was in danger"

   • a person or thing that is likely to cause harm or injury.

     plural noun: dangers

     
     

     "infertile soils where drought is a danger"
   • the possibility of something unwelcome or unpleasant.

     
     

     "there was no danger of the champagne running out"

   
   

*** As I inhale the smoke burns my throat fills up my lungs. I want so badly to stop, but I can't. Not because i'm addicted, but because i'm popular. 'If I don't finish the blunt, they will hate me.'  'If I cough, they will laugh at me.' 'If I get up and leave, they will call me names.' These thoughts race through my mind like cars on a raceway. I know the dangers of this. I know it can hurt me. I know what i'm like when i'm high, and it's not pretty.  I get really hyper and violent. I throw things around, curse people out, say stupid things, do things I wouldn't normally do. 'It's all worth it.' 'I will be accepted.'  I can't stop myself anymore. I am too far into the "popularity" trap. I had to so this to be "cool." 

-------

Three blunts later and i'm so high I could have sworn I was walking with Jesus. The rush feels good, but I hate it. I hate being like this. I hate being so violent. I hate not being able to control myself, my thoughts, or my actions. It's like the weed has a mind of it's own  and it's controlling my every move.  'This is too dangerous.'  ***

Living in this world...

This generation...

It's a CONSTANT pressure to "fit in."

 "Fit in" to the societies standards. 

Being in a public high school, I constantly have these temptations to fall into the pressure to fit in. 

At one point I was one of the most popular girls in the school. 

I smoked weed with the popular girls, because that's what you do when your "cool."

I would sneak out of my house at 1:00 in the morning to meet up with my girls, and the cool boys.

Just to do stuff that nobody else would find out about. 

It stayed between us...

Or so I thought. 

One night I got really high and did made some really poor choices. 

My friends got pictures of it and they spread them around the school.

My parents got a hold of the pictures and sent me to a group home for 1 1/2 years. 

It's always going to be a temptation to fit in. 

And that's a scary thought because, 

I know that I am able to give into the pressure, and I know that I can handle it, and lie my way through it. 

It's dangerous. 

It's a daily struggle, but I manage to get through it. 

There will always be that part of me that wants to "fit in."

But doesn't everyone?

It's too dangerous to 'fit in' or 'be cool.'

Trust me. 

It's just like in the book "Night" by Ellie Weisel.

The people in the ghetto were supposed to stay there and live together. 

But one day the troops came in and FORCED them to leave. 

They had to hand over all of their silver, gold, and watches. 

I felt forced to 'fit in' because the pressure was so tempting. 

I didn't literally hand over silver, gold, and watches, but I handed over relationships, my education, and my health. 

It's too dangerous.

Xoxo, Riley 

Let's Get Real...

I don't even know where to start right now. 

My life is messy right now, but even though it's been a really rough week, I know that it's going to be okay because God has my back. 

I know that even through the hardest of moments, he is there holding my hand. 

When my all just never seems to be enough, he is there telling me how proud he is of me. 

When I feel alone and unloved, he is there waiting for me with his arms wide open. 

I have had friends this week that have just been really loving, and have been a reminder of how much I am loved, but not only by my friends and family but by God. 

God has shown me through other people that he is constantly there for me, through not only the rough days but the good ones as well.

If you guy's don't already know, I am at a place called Eagle Ranch.
It's like a group home and a boarding school mixed together.
They have school up to the 9th grade, and then all other highschoolers go to FBHS.
I am in the 10th grade, so I go to FBHS, along with some of the boys on the Ranch.
I stay at the Ranch for 2 weeks and then go home every other weekend.
I have been at the Ranch for 1 year and 4 months since July 5, 2015.
The Ranch has really helped me find a sense of direction in my life.
It has helped me control my emotions, and express how I feel in a healthy way.

Outsiders look at Eagle Ranch, and say that it is a place where all the bad kids go.
But honestly, I think everyone could use the Ranch.
I think that everyone could use the Ranch's opportunity to search themselves and find out who they really are.
I think that they could use the Ranch to help develop life skills that they will need for everyday use.
I think that everyone could benefit from the Ranch.

Am I saying that my time here at the Ranch was easy? No.
It was really hard.
I had to get used to the structure that they have here.
At home, my family did not have a lot of structure when it came to discipline.
When I first came to the Ranch, it was very burdensome.
I was so occupied with how I looked and who I fit in with, that I didn't take the time to find myself.
I wasted so many months here, just playing around.
I was racking up consequences, and doing things that would only benefit me in the short-term.

At the Ranch, they have taught me how to love myself just as God loves me.
Throughout meaningful relationships and quality instruction, Eagle Ranch has empowered me to experience present and future success.
I thank God for the opportunity to be here, because without the Ranch, I would be stuck in my old habits, and bad structure.

Xoxo ~ Riley 

ĦΔŁŁØŴ€€Ň

ĦΔŁŁØŴ€€Ň

So it's officially Halloween! 

Whoo-Hoo! 

I absolutely love Halloween, and it's my favorite holiday of all time! 

I love it for many reasons, but the main reason is because of the decorations.

My family decorates a lot for Halloween.

We usually put out those fake spider webs, ya know, the ones that glow in the dark. 

My sisters and I make our own decorations every year, out of household items such as; toilet paper rolls, paper towel rolls, trash bags, sheets, and tablecloths. 

We make ghosts, floating candles, scary signs, dead bodies, and so much more. 

My parents will inflate some of the giant spiders and scary figures and put them in our front yard and by the door. 

We decorate the inside of our house as well. 

We usually will put up candles, and black table cloths...that's about it. 

On Halloween day, my whole family dresses up. 

We do face paint, and full body costumes and the whole "Sha-Bang."

We usually go out with a bunch of friends, and other family members. 

The littler kids will go trick-or-treating, while the teenagers have a party. 

It's really fun and I love hanging around my family and friends because they are really funny and always keep things interesting.  

That's exactly why I LOVE Halloween! 

Xoxo ~ Riley 

Do We REALLY Have Control?

~ We Have No  Control Over Most Things That Happen To Us ~

Everyday we wake up and we have a choice to make:

~ Am I going to do the right thing
OR
~ Am I going to do the wrong thing

Weather you know it or not, you subconsciously make this choice.

You choose weather you are going to be in a good mood or a bad mood.
You choose what clothes you wear.
How you are going to style your hair.
But, what it comes down to is...
You have a choice, you are dictator over what happens in your life.

It's pretty hard to understand, so let me go a little deeper.
You have a choice weather you want to get involved with drugs.
Some people claim that it wasn't their fault, or that they were pressured to do it, but you can't just blame things that happen on the situations that occur almost recently.
You have to take it back to the beginning.

You have to take it back to when it was your choice weather or not to hang out with that group of people who did drugs.
 You have to take it to when your friend offered you your first blunt, or cigarette.
Ultimately you put yourself in the position to be involved with drugs.
You associated yourself with "friends" who do drugs.
Who you hang out with will determine your actions.
Your friends "rub-off" on you, weather you like it or not.

So, yes. You have the power to control anything that happens to you, if you allow yourself the POWER to not engage in situations that may lead up the things that initially happen to you.


This doesn't happen in all cases.
You can't ALWAYS control what happens to you, but in MOST situations you can.
You can't control weather your parents get divorced, or you get in a car wreck.
Some things you can't control.
And that's okay.

But, there are things that you can control and I think that today, society has taken advantage over the fact that they "don't have control" over what happens in their life.


Xoxoxo ~ Riley 

A True Friend

~ A True Friend Is One Who Will Tell You The Truth, Even When You Don´t Want To Hear It. ~

This is a statement that I feel very strongly about. 

Not only is it true, but I have had first-hand experience with this and know am very thankful for the girl that was a true friend. 

It was in 7th grade when I became hospital home bound for the remainder of that school year. 

I was not able to go back to that school after I was discharged from hospital home bound. 

So, the start of my 8th grade year I had to enroll in a different school.

 I got involved with drugs and boys and I started to do things that I should not have done.

 I was looking to for happiness and I seemed to get a high with drugs and sexual things with guys. 

It put me in a bad place. 

While my other friends were shaming me and hating on me, I had one friend who stood up for me. 

She is the only one who knew what was really going on. 

I thought that I had a lot of good friends because I was considered ¨popular,¨ but all of those friends were never truly there for me when I needed them to be.

 When I was up at 2:00 in the morning with a blunt on my desk, crying because I don´t want to smoke it but the addiction was so strong... they were not there for me. 

They laughed and made fun of me, and made up rumors and lies. 

They told everyone my deepest secrets and made everything worse. 

But there was still that one friend. 

She is the one who stayed up on the phone with me at night when I really wanted to smoke that blunt, or sneak out to be with a boy. 

She was the one who told me that if I kept going down this path I will have nothing left, besides an orange suit and a roommate because I will be in jail. 

She is the one who told my parents when I smoked, or when I would sneak out of the house. 

She did not tell on me so that I would get in trouble, she told on me because she cared and she did not want me to end up in jail.  

She always told me the hard stuff. She told me how it was, and she did not sugar coat it. 

She really cared. 

She cared enough that she would put me through hell with my parents, if that meant that I would stop doing drugs and getting into trouble with boys. 

So, Yes, A true friend will tell you the truth even when you don´t want to hear it. 

Why? 

Because they care. 

Xoxo ~ Riley 

Heritage Interview

Have you ever wondered where your family is from? 

Am I related to any famous people?

Is my family in the blood line of royalty?

Were any of my grandparents in a major war?

These are questions that I have often wondered throughout my life. 

So, I took it upon myself to interview my Grandma, and see if she knows anything about my family's heritage. 

I asked her about life when she was younger and how it was different from how we live today. 

I asked her about what she knew about older relatives from our family. 

I learned so pretty interesting things. 

We are related to the Hatfields. 

When my grandmother was younger she didn't have indoor plumbing, and she didn't have a cellphone. 

Cell phones didn't even come out until after she had her second child. 

I was able to hear about her Mom and their life growing up as a child. 

I figured out how our family got to be where we are today. 

Xoxo ~ Riley

H.O.N.Y Story

H.O.N.Y. BLOG has become a very popular blog. 

I think that it is so successful because it is a blog about ordinary people and their stories.

 It doesn't sensor anything from it's viewers.  

It is different from most blogs. 

It is very interesting.

 HONY helps dispel stereotypes by asking people what their story is not what society thinks that their story is or what society thinks they have been through.

This picture interested me because it has a picture in it. 

I love taking pictures and looking at pictures.

 I have various pictures just hanging around my room of my friends and family. 

So, the photo itself is what drew me to it. 

The story was interesting because it was about a young man who made poor choices as an adolescent. 

He burned things,was violent towards his father, and ran away. 

He was soon diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder. 

As he got older, he recieved many assult charges. 

Now, he spends his time in the Federal Correction Complex in Hazelton,West Viginia.

One of my close friends has gone though some similar issues. 

He has been in jail multiple times.

He was charged with Trauncy, Assult and Battery, Robbery, he has ran away from home, and has run away on his court dates because he knew that he was going to be sentenced to time in jail. 

He has put himself in dangerous situations, where he was involved with gangs and drugs. 

I personaly knows how it feels to have someone you love and care deeply about, go to jail. 

I understand where the Dad of the inmate comes from when he attempts to help him. 

I tried everythig that I could to help my friend. 

I have asked him what else I could have done...

And everything in me wants him to say; "Nothing. You did everything you could."

But its not that simple. 

I think that in this story and with inmates in general they are all stereotyped as "bad people."

Sometimes they just make mistakes.

Sometimes they have a serious condition that they can't control. 

And sometimes inmates own up to what they did and change. 

Not everyone in jail is a bad person. 

My friend has changed. 

Yea, he still makes poor choices, but not like he did before. 

I think that it's important to go past the stereotypes of inmates and relize that everyone deserves a second chance to prove themselves. 

You can read the full story here: H.O.N.Y. Inmate Story

Xoxo ~ Riley 

<a data-pin-do="buttonFollow" href="https://www.pinterest.com/rileylena16/">Riley&nbsp;Smith&nbsp;</a>